


Forgotten Things

by MayCeaseToBe



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, dark themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 16:02:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3698408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayCeaseToBe/pseuds/MayCeaseToBe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin wakes up.</p>
<p>His heart pounds in his chest as the edges of a bad dream slink away. He remembers falling and fear and blood on blades of grass. He doesn't want to remember anything else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgotten Things

Merlin wakes up.

His heart pounds in his chest as the edges of a bad dream slink away. He remembers falling and fear and blood on blades of grass. He doesn't want to remember anything else. He slips out of bed and walks to the kitchen. The house is silent. He stares at the food in the fridge, but he isn't hungry. He sighs and glances out the tiny kitchen window.

There's a boy in the garden.

\------

“Who're you?” Merlin asks.

The boy is his age, maybe a little older. He's wearing a black wool vest over a white oxford shirt, a tie, wool slacks, and gleaming leather shoes. Merlin has never seen a teenager so well dressed in his life. The boy is looking out of the garden, toward the main house where Merlin's mother works as a maid and attendant to the old and decrepit Viscountess Lefay. Merlin's mother has worked here since before he was born, and Merlin himself knows all the ins and outs of the house, including all the staff.

This boy should not be here.

“I'm Arthur,” the boy says softly. He doesn't look at Merlin. “Shouldn't you be at school?”

“Shouldn't _you?_ ” Merlin asks, crossing his arms.

A smile twitches at the edge of Arthur's lips. “I haven't been to school in a long time.”

“Did you drop out?”

Arthur slowly shakes his head. “I got sick. I'm better now, but I can't go back.”

“Oh.” Merlin lets his arms fall to his sides. He glances at the house and tries to see what the boy finds so mesmerizing about the aristocratic pillars and wide, plain yard.

“I'm not going back to school,” Merlin says. “Not unless they make me.”

Arthur nods.

Merlin shifts a little, uncertain about what to say next. He looks away from the house and scrutinizes Arthur's bright blond hair, serious blue eyes, and squared jaw. He's beautiful. And familiar.

“Have we met before?” Merlin asks. Something in his gut writhes at the question. It feels like fear.

“Once,” Arthur says.

He doesn't elaborate.

Merlin doesn't ask again.

\------

Arthur is a relative of Viscountess Lefay. Some cousin twice removed.

Merlin doesn't care. He just likes the company.

Arthur shows him parts of the house that Merlin has never seen. A hidden passageway between the parlor and the kitchen. A loose floorboard filled with small bags of marbles. A carved inscription of A+M on the underside of one staircase railing. A first edition of _The Velveteen Rabbit_ that the Viscountess had as a child.

Merlin enjoys discovering these things, but he enjoys discovering Arthur's smile even more.

He doesn't ask what makes Arthur so somber most of the time.

He just likes making the sad expression disappear.

\------

It's three days later, and they're playing chess, when Merlin realizes.

“I can't feel this.”

He rolls the black rook in his fingers. He presses down on the bumpy top. Nothing.

He presses the fingers of his other hand to the marble chess board, expecting to feel the cold, smooth material under his skin. Nothing.

“Is that normal? Why can't I-” Merlin stops. He feels panic clawing at his chest, but he doesn't know why.

Arthur stands abruptly and crosses over to him. He places his hands gently on either side of Merlin's head and makes him look up. “Can you feel _this?_ ”

And Merlin _can_. 

Arthur's lips are soft and warm, and Merlin feels himself light up at the touch. He drops the chess piece and doesn't hear it land. He lets Arthur drag him across the parlor to the couch.

He forgets why he was afraid.

\------

“It's weird,” Merlin says. They're lounging in Arthur's room for the night, naked and staring up at the luscious red canopy of his king sized bed. “It's been a week, and my mother still hasn't yelled at me for not going to school. I know she's traveling with the Viscountess, but it's weird.”

“She's not traveling with the Viscountess,” Arthur says tightly.

Merlin looks at him and frowns. “What do you mean?”

Arthur's face turns pained. He clenches his jaw before he speaks. “She quit. She couldn't stand to be here anymore.”

“That's not funny,” Merlin says. He feels cold, suddenly. The panic rises in his chest. “Why would she -”

“ _Think_ , Merlin.” Arthur looks him in the eye, and it occurs to Merlin how rarely he does it. Like he can't stand to. Like it hurts. “Please think. Remember.”

Merlin does, and it's like remembering a terrible dream. The boys from school chasing him home. The knife in his back. The panic. The blood. Arthur, who looks so much like Viscountess's long dead brother, picking him up and taking him home, tucking him into bed, telling him it will all be fine in the morning.

It isn't fine.

Merlin wants to scream. He wants to cry. He wants to wail about how unfair it all is.

Instead he straddles Arthur's lap, and he kisses him hard. He feels the pressure and warmth between them. He feels Arthur's strong hands on his thighs. He feels the shaking of his own limbs as he rubs their cocks together. He feels the whimper catch in Arthur's throat as he comes.

_I'm still alive_ , Merlin thinks, even as their bodies stay clean of spunk and sweat, as their chests stay still with lack of breath, as the sheets beneath them stay perfectly made. 

_I'm still alive._


End file.
